your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
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