I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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