i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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