I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
