He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
