I want to have your abortion
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
