I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize