Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
