didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
