I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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