drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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