so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
