4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
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