At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
