I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
