I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize