its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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