And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
