I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
