wrigley field is MILF paradise
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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