Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
