Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
