I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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