marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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