I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
