I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
