i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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