two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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