took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
