all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize
