WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize