i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize