dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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