Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
