this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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