Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
