Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
