his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
