Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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