I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
