do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
