Just cropdusted the office
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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