Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
