I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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