Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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