I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
