The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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