I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
