are you so shy because you have an std?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
