Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
