You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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