Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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