Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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