He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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