yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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