I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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