i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
