Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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