I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
