We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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