Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize