You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
