apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
