You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dicks are not precious.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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