So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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