So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
my liver is dry heaving
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
