grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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