That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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