Apparently you make a good broom.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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