i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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