I molested 6 butterflies tonight
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
