turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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