just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
