He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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