their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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