if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
