I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize