there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
