I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
