3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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