There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize