im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
