thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The uberlube is also flammable
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
