Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
