sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize