Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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