my room smells like sperm. sweet.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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