I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
