If that was your dad, he is hot
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
