how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
