i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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